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Guide to Divorce and Separation in N.Y. Andrea and Steven Gottlieb, the partners at the Law Firm of Moran and Gottlieb, 233 Wall Street, Kingston, New York, have extensive experience in the fields of Matrimonial and Family Law. Andrea Moran and Steven Gottlieb litigate divorces and all matrimonial & family matters in, the Supreme Courts and Family Courts of Ulster, Dutchess, Delaware, Sullivan, Orange, Greene and Columbia Counties. They work closely with private investigators, therapists, and government agencies on behalf of their clients. A Domestic Violence consultant is on staff. Some Basic Information Regarding Divorce and Separation UNCONTESTED
DIVORCE MATRIMONIAL
ISSUES
SEPARATION UNCONTESTED
DIVORCE BASED UPON A SEPARATION AGREEMENT NEW
YORK STATE GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE 1. Abandonment
of the plaintiff spouse by the defendant spouse for a period of one
(1) or more years; In only a few situations is the question of whether or not a divorce should be granted an actual issue. In most cases the Courts of the State of New York will grant a divorce when one party makes an appropriate demand, even if the other party aggressively opposes it. It is generally not considered to be in the public interest to keep two people married if they can't get along with each other. Back to Top. OPPOSITION
TO THE GRANTING OF A DIVORCE CONTESTED
DIVORCE RESOLUTION
OF CONTESTED DIVORCE WITHOUT A TRIAL OBTAINING
A DIVORCE BASED ON A SEPARATION AGREEMENT WITHOUT WAITING ONE YEAR NON-COMPLIANCE
WITH TERMS OF SEPARATION AGREEMENT PSYCHOLOGICAL
COUNSELING MARITAL-LIKE
RELATIONS Even when the parents are able to separate in a friendly and cooperative manner, the children will have many concerns. Parents should tell their children about the divorce as soon as they have reached a firm decision. Children should be informed to the extent that is age appropriate. If possible, both parents should tell the children simultaneously. Back to Top. IN
A FRIENDLY DIVORCE Parents should explain honestly that things will change. Life will be temporarily disorganized, routines will be disrupted. One parent will be moving out of the home. The house may be sold, and the family may have to move to a new neighborhood. The mother, if not already doing so, may go back to school or take a part-time or full-time job. In short, the parents must make it clear that the divorce will bring many changes that the whole family will have to face and overcome. The parents should tell children of all major developments, as the family reorganizes. Children feel powerless at divorce and should be invited to make suggestions in matters concerning them. Adults should seriously consider these suggestions. They should be assured that they will have a say, for instance, in setting up the visiting arrangements. Once the schedule is settled, it should be explained to the children in detail. The children should not, however, be made to feel responsible for making major decisions. The goal is to involve them appropriately so that they can feel that they are participating in working out a solution to the family crisis. The parents should advise the children that the divorce will not weaken the bond between parent and child, even if they live apart. They need to be reassured that, though parents may divorce each other, they do not divorce their children. The children should be told realistically that everybody will have to work hard to maintain these important connections. The parents must stress to the children that the divorce is not in any way the fault of the child. They must be assured that the problem existed strictly between the two adults. The children should never be allowed to assume guilt for causing the breakup. The parents must state clearly that the divorce is an irrevocable decision and that the children should not and cannot waste their time and energies in the fruitless schemes and fantasies of bringing their parents back together. The parents will want to make every effort to keep separate their own hurt, anger, and needs from the needs of their children. Children have a right to their own feelings and should not be asked to take sides or be forced to wander a no-man's, land in the divorce war. Above all, both mother and father must give their children permission to love and maintain a relationship with the other parent. This may be the hardest task of all for the adults, but it can be done. With a caring, courageous effort on the part of each parent, the children, even in the midst of their turmoil, can feel supported and loved. Back to Top. CONTESTED
CUSTODY AND VISITATION RETAINING
A PSYCHOLOGIST Most importantly, the psychologist may be able to head off custody litigation and assist the parties in reading a mutually agreed position. In a serious custody action, therapists, court mental health evaluators, alcohol and drug evaluators, pediatricians, emergency room personnel, the children's babysitters or day care, nursery school teachers and staff, public school teachers, neighbors, old friends, former friends, relatives, and the parties may all testify. The children, if called and if permitted to testify will usually testify privately to the judge in chambers, without the presence of the parents. Back to Top. JOURNAL You should list both the routine and special events which take place on a given day. While routine items (e.g. preparation of a meal) may not seem important at first, when viewed as part of a long-term pattern of care they take on great significance. Be as detailed as you like, for example your description of a meal's preparation might include a "menu" (to show that your children receive nutritional meals), as well as a description of the children's roles in setting the table, in fixing the salad or dessert, and in helping clear the table (to show that they are taught a sense of teamwork and responsibility). Your journal should also include statements that the children make, or a description of matters which you and the children discuss. These do not need to be matters directly relating to the custody and visitation issues - in most cases it is not helpful for you to "provoke" discussion in those areas - but may include your children's feelings about you or the other party, as well as their statements about day-to-day occurrences in their lives. It is very likely that the contents of your journal will be used in court should your case go to trial. Oftentimes, we will utilize it to show your contemporaneous recording of events, or to refresh your recollection on the witness stand. Because of this, you must be careful what you write. Your journal is obviously not the place for you to chronicle your love life, or to apologize for any shortcomings you may feel you have as a parent. It should not contain any inappropriate language or comments. And, while it is proper to write about events or statements which put the other party in a bad light, be careful not to overdo it. The tone of your journal generally should be positive and a reflection on your good points , it should not be solely a "smear piece" against the other party. We view your journal as one of the most important devices available to assist in your case. For that reason, we encourage you to ask us any questions you have about it. Also, after you have been keeping a journal for a week or two, send us a copy. That way we can offer our comments on what you are doing, and perhaps offer advice on what can be done to improve the record you are keeping. Back to Top. PHOTOGRAPHS If you do not have a camera, get one. Photograph your home and all its living areas, giving special attention to where the children eat, sleep and play. Take pictures of the yard, any nearby playgrounds or parks, and any other places (e.g. grandparents' house) where the children spend a substantial amount of their time. Photograph routine events in the children's lives (such as getting off the school bus, or saying bedtime prayers) in order to illustrate how their days are spend and your involvement on a daily basis. Photograph special events, holidays, trips and vacations, and be sure to include your children's friends and extended family (grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins) in photos of family gatherings. Do not forget to include yourself in many of these photos. If any "bad" things appear, such as your children having injuries or bruises you should (among other things) take a picture. You should also take steps to preserve any photographs or family albums you already have, so that a record of your past involvement in the children's lives can be shown to the Court. Videos are another means to depict your involvement with the children. One warning: since most video recordings also include sound, be careful that you are not heard "directing" your children about. Our purpose in proving your genuine love and care for your children may be undermined if you are perceived to have "staged" certain events. Back to Top. VIDEO
RECORDINGS AUDIO
RECORDINGS Extreme caution must be exercised, however, before audio recording is done. There are two reasons for this: First, certain types of recording (eg. a telephone "tap" between two unsuspecting people) are illegal and cannot be used for any legitimate purpose; Second, we want to be sure your recording things does not lead to your "provoking" family conflict or even violence. If it does, and the tape is heard by a neutral listener, you will not gain from it. Back to Top. RECORDS
AND DOCUMENTS LETTERS
OF REFERENCE These letters should
explain how the writer knows you or your children, and what he/she has
observed. The writer may wish to state an opinion as to your abilities
as a parent or your relationship with your children, and this is welcome
too. These letters are not "evidence". Their usefulness is limited by
the rules of evidence which the courts must follow. Their purpose is
threefold: A separation agreement is a legally binding contract between a husband and wife. It contains the terms of the settlement between the parties: custody, visitation, child support, maintenance, division of personal and real property, waivers of interest in property. The separation agreement has enormous legal significance. Nobody should sign such an agreement without the advice of an attorney. Signing a separation agreement is a big step. You may not be able to get out of the agreement once it is signed. Many people do sign separation agreements which are not in their interests or without the advice of counsel. Sometimes, the person hopes to reconcile and the spouse who had the agreement prepared, knowing and playing upon this hope, suggests that the agreement is "just temporary;" or "can be changed at any time." Their reasons vary:
A separation agreement is a binding legal document. While they can sometimes be set aside, that will only occur after an expensive legal battle. In fact the agreement is far more likely to be upheld by the Court than set aside. It is actually rare for a Court to set aside a separation agreement. Anyone who signs an agreement, without the advice of counsel, may be embarking on a path that he or she will soon regret. Some aspects of the separation agreement are treated differently by the Courts: Since child support is a statutory obligation, the Courts will not permit an agreement which fails to provide for child support or which provides inadequately for child support. So an agreement which fails to provide the statutory amount of child support will not be accepted by the Supreme Court. Child custody and visitation can always be changed in the name of the ambiguous doctrine of "The Best Interests of the Child." Thus, it is primarily issues of financial claims, property divisions and maintenance which will be upheld by the Courts. This can cause further inequities: the portion of the agreement, which the party most wanted and relied upon, may be subject to further and endless review in the Courts, while the part that the party gave up will be considered binding. For example, a wife, who, out of fear and anxiety, signs a separation agreement in which she gets custody, but waives off the husband's pension and business, may find that custody won't continue to be upheld by Family Court, but her waiver of a pension will be upheld. Likewise, a husband may agree to pay extremely generous spousal maintenance or high child support at a time when he thought reconciliation was possible. Later, he may find that the Court will require this payment long after he discovers how difficult the payment is to make. Alternatively, sometimes one party will retain an attorney and have an agreement drawn up. The other side refuses to get an attorney, but is willing to sign the agreement. This is a common situation, but not without perils. Later, the side without counsel may institute costly litigation to have the agreement set aside. While it may not occur, the cost of such a legal battle can be enormous. Back to Top. GROUNDS
TO SET ASIDE A SEPARATION AGREEMENT 1) Not represented
by an attorney at the time he or she signed the agreement. The Courts willingly uphold what is termed a "bad bargain," but will set aside an "unconscionable" agreement. The area in between a bad bargain and an unconscionable agreement is very ambiguous and may be up to the skill of the lawyers and the attitudes of the trial judge. Litigation over
a separation agreement may result in a settlement which improves one
party's position at the expense of other party. Back
to Top. The State of New York like most states, divides up the marital property between the two spouses. Equitable does not have to mean equal; yet in most cases, the two words are virtually synonymous. This means that in most cases the Courts will be dividing the marital property equally between the two spouses. Marital property consists of all assets acquired during the marriage except: gifts, inheritances, and proceeds of personal injury actions. There are variations on this rule and a careful evaluation must be undertaken with counsel. The date of the separation agreement or service of the divorce summons should be carefully considered. Ten years of marriage qualifies for divorced spouse Social Security. The effect of the divorce on your spouse's unvested pension must also be ascertained. In many cases both spouses are well advised by their counsel and a fair division of the assets can be determined and effected. In other cases, a spouse may be poorly advised or too emotionally upset to reach the correct decision. Sometimes there are legitimate disputes over valuations or perhaps both parties want the same assets, such as the house. In those cases, a trial over the equitable distribution of the marital assets will take place. To prepare for such a trial, you should familiarize yourself with family assets. You should copy prior years income tax returns, stocks, bonds, investment and financial statements, retirement plans. You should make copies of any financial record that you can locate. You should copy all credit card records and all debts. You should have all account numbers. You will need to review your insurance policies, health, life and automobile. Life insurance policies may have cash values. You may want to obtain a court order freezing financial and personal assets. You will need all the records to obtain such an order. You may also wish to get your name removed from joint credit cards. This can only be done by contacting each company that issued a credit card and following their procedures. You may wish to
remove half of the funds from all joint bank accounts. You may wish
to remove all of the funds from joint accounts, knowing that you will
be asked to account to the Court for your taking of the same. Back
to Top. Domestic
Violence On the other hand, in households where there is no domestic violence, it sometimes happens that one spouse falsely accuses the other, in an effort to gain exclusive possession of the marital residence and custody of the children. If you have the slightest inkling that your spouse would do such a thing to you, you must be extremely careful and you must plan ahead. If domestic violence
or threats of domestic violence or accusations of the same are an issue,
you will be able to consult with our Domestic Violence counselor to
further assist you. Back to Top. SUPREME
COURT AND FAMILY COURT In Ulster County, Supreme Court is at 280 Wall Street in the center of Kingston. The Family Court is located in Kingston at 16 Lucas Avenue. In Ulster, Sullivan and Dutchess Counties, the two courts are located in different buildings. In Delaware, Greene, Columbia and Orange Counties they are in the same building. Back to Top. COMMENCEMENT
OF PROCEEDING An action in Supreme Court is started with a Summons and Complaint. The filing fee is initially $185.00 (for the Index Number); then a second fee of $100.00 for the Note of Issue. The other fee is for service on the other party of the summons. The parties in Supreme Court are called Plaintiff and Defendant. Family Court handles only matters of support, custody, visitation, domestic violence. Support will include health insurance, medical bills, day care. It does not include a division of assets, real property, bank accounts, debts. You can not get divorced in Family Court, but you can win or lose custody, get visitation, lose visitation, be ordered to pay or receive child support. Family Court is somewhat divided into two parts: the Hearing Officer handles all matters involving support, medical expenses, health insurance and day care costs and sometimes spousal maintenance. The Family Court judges handle custody, visitation, abuse and neglect and domestic violence. Supreme Court grants divorces and divides all the property, pensions, bank accounts, real property, some personal property. It can also award custody, visitation and child support and maintenance. Both Family Court and Supreme Court can appoint a Law Guardian for the children and order psychological evaluations of the parties. You may therefore have a choice of courts. One Court does everything and one Court specializes. Because Family Court specializes and because Ulster County Family Court is so good, we usually recommend determining contested custody matters there. We also do child support there. It is faster and generally does a better job than Supreme Court. But there may be reasons why we would select Supreme Court and of course your spouse may have already instituted the action in Supreme Court which means it will be continued there. Supreme Court requires a conference within 30 days of filing the initial papers. Technically, a divorce must be scheduled within 6 months. This sometimes happens and sometimes not. Family Court also has deadlines that must be met in scheduling a case. The first appearance at Family Court is called an arraignment. At this time the judge will want to know if the respondent has been served with the petition. If both parties are in court, the judge will ask the respondent if he/she consents to the relief requested in the petition. If the respondent does not agree with the relief requested in the petition, the judge will tell both parties of their right to be represented by an attorney. The judge will usually briefly discuss the case with both parties to see if it can be settled, and she may refer you to mediation. If one has not been appointed, she will also appoint a lawyer, called a law guardian, for your child. If the case is not settled at arraignment, the judge may make a temporary order and will adjourn the case. If one or both parties did not have an attorney at the first appearance and an attorney has been retained or assigned to represent a party, there will be a re-arraignment. If mental health evaluations have been ordered, the next court conference should occur after the evaluation has been received by the court. Your lawyer will get a copy of the evaluation. The conference will usually take place in the judge's office with only attorneys present. This is not done because the conference is secret, but because, in the court's experience, a fair settlement is more likely to occur if the lawyers first tell each other and the judge their client's position so that areas of disagreement can be identified. and suggestions made to resolve them. Your lawyer will then tell you the other parties' position and give you a chance to discuss your concerns without the other party being present. The judge is not allowed to speak with either party alone. No settlement discussed in the judge's office is ever made without your agreement. You must be in the courthouse for the settlement conference. Fact Finding Hearing- The trial in a Family Court case is called a fact-finding hearing. When a case goes to trial you are letting the judge decide what will happen to your family rather than working it out between yourselves. At the trial both sides will present witnesses, and the law guardian may call witnesses. Trials can take an hour or they can take many days. They are emotional and sometimes embarrassing to the parties. In Supreme Court, there is no arraignment and you may never meet or even be introduced to the judge assigned to your case. This can be very disappointing. People tend to find sitting in the hallway for several hours very irritating. Depending on the Supreme Court judge there may be a number of conferences. If your lawyer makes a motion, many judges require that the parties be in the courthouse, even if they are simply sitting and waiting in the hallway. There are often many court appearances prior to a trial. Many people are confused by this as they expect a trial to occur sooner than it actually does. The Courts prefer not to try cases that will settle and often time and effort is spent trying to settle the case. This can mean a number of court conferences in which, from one point of view, "nothing happened and we didn't get to even see the judge!" It's also true that sometimes nothing happens in the court conference because your lawyer or the other lawyer or the other party was late, missed the appearance, was held up in another court, had a conflict and forgot to request an adjournment. While this can be very irritating and it should happen as little as possible, it does occur. Even if your case is set down for trial, it may be settled. Even if the Court starts taking testimony, the case may settle during the trial. Thus you should always be prepared to discuss your specific goals. At the conclusion of the trial, the judge may make a decision from the bench or he or she may announce that the decision is reserved, pending submission of final written arguments or simply to be announced in writing at a later time. Back to Top. CHILD
SUPPORT This means that
the non-custodial parent wilt pay on a $30,000 a year salary: To figure the weekly versus the monthly, you must realize that each month has 4.3 weeks. Or you can multiply the weekly figure by 52 and divide by 12. Or you can take the monthly figure, multiply by 12 and divide by 52. Social security is .0765 per cent of the gross salary. It is important to understand that most child support orders involve the non-custodial parent paying to the custodial parent on the above percents. If the non-custodial parent has the child with him or her two days a week, there still may be required the above support. Generally speaking if the child spends half his nights with one parent or close to half of the nights, it may be arguable as to whether child support should be reconsidered. Many non-custodial parents are upset to learn that even if they have the child for 8 weeks during the summer, they may still be required to pay child support. Many custodial parents are upset if the non-custodial parent does not want to pay child support for extended visitations. Sometimes people think that the Joint Custodial parents do not pay each other child support. It really depends. If there is a big income difference between the parents and the children spend an equal amount of time with both parents, the higher earning parent may still pay the lower earning parent. If the children,
for whatever reason, are separated and each parent has a child, there
still may be child support if the parental income is substantially different.
Back to Top. Many times, matrimonial clients start our with unrealistic expectations and goals. For example, people sometimes want vindication from the Courts of their position: "I want the judge to see that......" -or- "I want the Court to tell her she can't..." Such a totally personally satisfying outcome is probably rare. Many times, when you are going through a tough time, consulting with family and friends is helpful and supportive; sometimes, however, friends and family can make things worse by encouraging and nagging you to insist on viewpoints that exacerbate the situation, irritate the Court and even hurt your case. You may be making major changes in your life as a result of the termination of this relationship. Planning for your future may take some time. Your choice of your goals may change in the matter of a few months. Your choices will be important. For this reason, we recommend that you take your time during this process. We do not encourage pointless litigation and we do everything we can to educate our clients against it. Therefore, most of the cases that we do try, consist of representing our clients against the unrealistic goals of the other spouse. We will make every effort to reach a settlement that is satisfactory to you. If this can not be done, then the case should be tried and we will represent your interests to the best of our ability Andrea Moran,
Esq. [ Home ] [ Our Services ] [ Directions ] [ Contact Us ] The information contained on these pages is intended for general information only and is not legal advice. Do not rely upon the information or apply it to your situation without first consulting us or another lawyer. All
contents © 2006, Law Offices of Moran and Gottlieb |
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SOME
BASIC INFORMATION REGARDING DIVORCE AND SEPARATION CUSTODY
AND VISITATION THE
SEPARATION AGREEMENT EQUITABLE
DISTRIBUTION THE
COURT SYSTEM |
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